Flashbacks
by Dixieland Delight
Summary: In which Kate and Tony debate arson and Kate gets her vacation. . . sort of.
1. Playing With Fire

**A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a collection of one-shots that take place before, during, or after episodes. All the one-shots are dialogue-based. They are not scripts, and, last I checked, perfectly legal around these parts. **

**SUMMARY: "Gibbs is gonna kill us, isn't he?" Post _Marine Down._**

* * *

PLAYING WITH FIRE  
_"If we screw this up, I have a suggestion." _

"Oh my God. I cannot believe we're actually doing this. Gibbs is gonna kill us, isn't he?"

"Probably."

"Pull us limb from limb?"

"Might."

"Dump our bodies in Area 51?"

"It's likely."

Pause.

"Or he might just, you know, fire us?"

"Nah. He likes you."

Scoff. "And what makes you say that?"

"Well, for a start, he doesn't hit you."

"True enough."

"Yet."

"Oh, come on, Tony. He doesn't hit Abby!"

"Abby's not the one about to set his boat on fire, Kate darling."

Grudging. "You have a point."

" . . ."

"So how are we actually going to break into his basement?"

"Break a window?"

"It's a _basement_, genius, there are no windows."

"The top floors have windows."

"We are not breaking Gibbs' windows."

"Well, how do _you_ propose to go about it?"

" . . ."

"That's what I thought. Break a window it is."

"Hey, Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"What happens if the whole house goes up?"

"Hadn't thought of that."

"Huh."

"What was that, Kate?"

"Nothing. . ."

"Stop mocking me. This was your idea."

"Yeah, well, _I'm_ not the one who went knocking on _your_ door at seven in the evening saying Gibbs was still at work in a meeting with the Director and we should go for it while we could."

"You make it sound so rude."

" . . ."

"Kate?"

"What?"

"Did you by any chance bring matches?"

"I thought you had lighter fluid."

"I do, but there's no point to lighter fluid if you don't have anything to light it with."

" . . ."

" . . ."

"Maybe Gibbs has matches in his basement?"

"Maybe."

"This isn't going to work, is it, Tony?"

"Probably not."

Pause.

"See, I just have this image of Gibbs driving our dead bodies off to be dumped."

Pause.

"Me too, now that you mention it."

Long pause.

"Tony, maybe we should-"

"This doesn't seem-"

"-just stop while we're ahead, sort of-"

"-like such a great idea anymore-"

"I mean, just because we don't do it doesn't mean-"

"-and I really, really don't want to die-"

"-it's not like it would be a _bad_ thing-"

"-at least not right now-"

"-and maybe it would be best to, you know. . ."

" . . ."

" . . ."

"So, Kate. How do you feel about dinner and a movie?"

THE END


	2. The Almost Vacation

**SUMMARY: "What doesn't kill you, right?" During _An Eye For An Eye_.**

* * *

THE ALMOST-VACATION  
"I need a vacation. Somewhere tropical...with no cellphone reception."

"So, Kate."

"What do you want, Tony?"

"Do I have to want something?"

"Shouldn't you be working on the case?"

"I am, as a matter of fact."

"Enlighten me, Tony. How is standing here productive in any way?"

"Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say _productive_. . ."

"Get to the point, Tony."

"You know how you said you wanted a vacation somewhere tropical with no cellphone reception?"

"That didn't sound very to-the-point to me, Tony."

"C'mon, Kate, play along."

Exasperated. "_Fine_."

"Let's try this again. Hey, Kate, do you remember saying you wanted a tropical vacation?"

"Hey, Tony, do you remember saying that I should strip and cuddle with you?"

"_Ka-ate!_"

"What!"

"You aren't very good at playing along, are you?"

Through gritted teeth. "Yes, Tony, I remember saying that. Why?"

"Because I think I have just what you're looking for."

"What, you got a break in the case?"

"Kind of. . ."

"Gibbs hates you again and, by comparison, likes me a lot better and might be willing to sign off on some vacation time once the case is over?"

"Gibbs never _hated_ me!"

"Fine, barely tolerated you. Whatever."

"I'll have you know-"

"Tony. You have about three seconds."

"Before what?"

"Before I put a bullet between your eyes for not just telling me whatever this is. One."

"Okay, so since Gibbs likes me better than you and all-"

"_Two_. . ."

"We'regoingtoParaguaytonailPurcell."

"The whole team?"

"Yeah, the whole team. Minus everyone but us."

"Gibbs is sending me to Paraguay with _you_?"

"Actually, he let me pick between you and McGee."

Dryly. "Wow. I feel so special."

Grinning. "I knew you would."

"Wait, how does this relate to me wanting a vacation?"

"Well, it's tropical. I think. Never seen it on a map. And there's not cellphone reception."

"Yeah, but I'm going with _you_. So it's not really a vacation."

"C'mon, Kate. Would you pick McGee over me?"

"Huh. That's a tough one."

"What!"

"Hmmm. . ."

"Oh, you know you'd pick me, Kate."

"And what if I did?"

"You like me better than McGee, haha!"

Defensive. "I never said that."

"Whatever you say, Kate."

"Shut up."

"Only if you do."

"Okay."

"Fine!"

"That's settled, then."

"Right."

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"_Stop talking._"

Muttering. "Fine."

" . . ."

" . . ."

" . . ."

" . . ."

"So. No cellphone reception, huh?"

"Yup."

"Well. . . it can't be that bad."

"Nope."

Pause.

"There's a catch, isn't there?"

"Um. Sort of."

Moan. "Lemme guess. We're taking a-"

"-satellite phone."

"Oh, boy."

"Yup."

Pause.

"What doesn't kill you, right?"

"Huh?"

"'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' It's a famous quote. Are you seriously telling me you've never heard that?"

"Of course I have."

Laughing. "Liar."

Sarcastic. "You got me, Kate."

More laughing.

"Shut up, Kate."

Still chuckling. "So, Tony, when's our flight?"

"I _knew_ you'd warm up to me."

Pause.

"Shut up, Tony."

THE END


	3. Games Coworkers Play

**A NOTE TO AVOID CONFUSION: This is one side (Kate's) of a phone conversation. When she pauses because the person on the other line is speaking, the text goes to a new paragraph. **

**SUMMARY: "Just because you go through secretaries and receptionists like Kleenex doesn't mean other people's coworkers aren't important to them!" During _SWAK_.**

* * *

GAMES COWORKERS PLAY  
_"So what did I miss?"  
"Kate broke up with some lawyer guy..."_

"Hi, uh, can I speak to Rodney?"

"Yes, Amanda, this is Kate. I know it's after hours, but he isn't answering his cell and he's not at home, so..."

"Yes, this is very important."

"I don't care if he said not to disturb him, I really need to speak with him."

"Amanda. May I remind you that a new receptionist would not be hard to find if I brought this up with Rodd... thank you."

Muttering. "Has got to be the most pathetic, whiny little girl ever to- Hi, Rodd."

"No, I just a had little difficulty getting Amanda to transfer my call."

"Actually, I called-"

"I'm at Bethesda Naval Hospital."

"Rodd, you _know_ I hate it when you call me sweetheart."

"Yes! Yes, I'm fine. My, uh, coworker-"

"Oh, stop it, Rodd, just because you go through secretaries and receptionists like Kleenex doesn't mean other people's coworkers aren't important to them!"

"I'm not in a mood!"

"Well how about _you_ try spending hours and hours in an isolation unit thinking you've got the pneumonic plague, then finding out, hey, you're home free but your friend's gonna die, _and then_ you can tell me I'm in a mood!"

"I'm not hysterical!"

"Of course I'm serious! Why the hell would I joke about almost getting the plague!"

"Well, it's hard to get it naturally any more, but when somebody puts it in an envelope and mails it to you and you open it and _breathe in all the powder_, it is quite possible."

Softer. "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to blow up at you like that."

"Listen, Rodd, that's kind of why I called. I'm not gonna be able to make it tonight. I'm sorry."

"I know. I know. I'm really sorry."

"Um. I'm staying here overnight."

"No, they aren't keeping me for observation."

"Wel-l... I'm staying with my friend."

"Male, why do you ask?"

Muttering. "Yeah, sure, no reason."

"Yeah, he's my coworker."

"Yes... it's Tony... why, have I mentioned him?"

"Yes, he's the one I went to Paraguay with- _on official NCIS business_!"

"You've obviously never been to Paraguay. Trust me, it has no tourist appeal."

"A _threat_? What are you talking about?"

"Rodd, you have obviously never met Tony."

"Yes. No. NO!"

"Listen, sometimes he's funny, and he's not so bad on the eyes, and every now and then I begin to think he might have some niceness and sincerity hidden deep in there, but that's really the extent of it."

"Rodd, _sweetheart_, you're turning green."

"What? No! It was supposed to be funny, you know, like a joke? Those short humorous things you say to people that often begin with 'knock knock'?"

"You are hopeless!"

"You know what? Maybe this isn't meant to work out."

"Um...am I breaking up with you?" Very fast. "Maybe."

"Listen––"

"Rodd––"

"Really, I think––"

"You're being childish!"

"You know what, Rodd? I am tired of this. I am tired of you. I am _tired_ of your smartass receptionist Amanda! And this is over."

"No, do not call me. Do not email me. Do not write letters to me, or slip notes under my windshield wiper, or page me, or use any type of communication device, electrical or otherwise, to contact me."

"Do I need to remind you that I carry a gun?"

"Yeah, screw you too."

Click.

THE END


	4. Kate Todd, The Marshmallow

**SUMMARY: "Dreaming about Gibbs, huh?" During _Twilight_.**

* * *

KATE TODD, THE MARSHMALLOW  
_"Kate dreams about Gibbs!"_

"Dreaming about Gibbs, huh?"

Annoyed. "You _know_ I wasn't."

"What were you really dreaming about?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Uh...'cause I asked nicely?"

"Fine."

Pause.

"Are you gonna tell me or not?"

Very fast. "I-dreamed-that-I-woke-up-and-Gibbs-was-dead-and-Ari-was-there-and-he-did-that-creepy-'Caitlin'-thing. Happy?"

"The creepy Caitlin thing?"

"When he...abducted me, or whatever, he kept calling me Caitlin in this really creepy voice."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"That sucks."

"Yeah."

Silence.

"Tony?"

Playfully. "Yes Kate darling?"

"Do you think we're gonna get him?"

"Who, Ari?"

"Yeah."

"I don't think you and me are gonna be doing anything but standing back while Gibbs puts a couple rounds in his head."

"I just have this weird feeling, you know?"

"Not really...what feeling?"

"You know how you're always talking about instinct? It's kinda like that. I just feel...tense."

"Tense?"

"Yeah."

Teasing. "Should I give you a massage?"

Smiling again. "You put one finger on me, DiNozzo..."

"You'll kill me with your bare hands, castrate me, disembowel me, et cetera. I know the drill."

Wryly. "You'd better, by this time."

"We've been working together for almost two years now, you know that?"

Sarcastic. "Tony! You remembered our anniversary!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just saying."

Silence.

"Tony, have you visited Gerald recently?"

"Not since we all went with Ducky a month or so ago."

"We should go. After we get Ari."

"That could be today, a week, two months, a year."

"It won't take a year."

"How do you know?"

"That feeling again."

"Oh."

"Will you visit him then?"

"Sure. We'll all go."

Smiling. "Can you imagine the look on his face when we tell him Ari's dead?"

"I imagine it'll be something like the one on your face now."

Soberly. "Yeah, I guess."

Long pause.

"Hey, Tony? If anything happens to anyone on the team..."

"Yeah?"

"Never mind. We should go back in."

"What were you going to say?"

"Just...I missed you when you were gone, okay?"

Laughing. "Oh, my God. She may be all tough and gritty on the outside, but inside she's pure cream filling."

"Shut up."

"Kate Todd, you are a marshmallow."

Sarcastic. "That's me. The marshmallow."

THE END


End file.
